I'm Not That Girl
by AvatarTwilightObsession
Summary: Song-fic to Wicked's: I'm Not That Girl. He could make my heart race with one word, take my breath away with one musical bite of his laughter - I lived and breathed him, even though I wished I didn't have to. Taken-ward & Bella angst :D


**How do I seem to be churning out one-shot after one-shot, when I can't even finish a chapter of FMN easily? Sigh. I really should prioritize. And become patient - as always, this one-shot is unbeta-ed, so I have no idea whether it's so completely ridiculous that I should really stop but OH WELL. :D You'll just have to tell me :D**

**Leave your interesting or creative responses in the review button BELOW. Yes, I do watch too much youtube :D**

**My Birthday tomorrow! Maybe I'll get something up in celebration of that ;)**

**Love you all, and review if it so pleases you! (It pleases me a lot)**

**Read on, my brave warriors!**

**DISCLAIMER - Twilight is SM's, and the song is from Wicked, written by Stephan Schwartz. Goddamn, I love that show 3 :D

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_Hands touch, eyes meet  
Sudden silence, sudden heat  
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl_

There's nothing like unrequited love.

Alice always said it's better to be in love than out of it, but I was not exactly sure. The feelings that thrilled me, that filled my veins with golden sunshine whenever a certain green-eyed god put an arm around me casually and laughed might just not be worth what I felt when I watched him do the same thing to other girls, only not so casually. He could make my heart race with one word, take my breath away with one musical bite of his laughter - I lived and breathed him, even though I wished I didn't have to.

He wasn't a womanizer...far from it.

We were just...close. Too close.

Perhaps not close enough. But then again, I thought, safely hidden in my dark corner watching everyone else have a good time, what I wanted and what he wanted were fundamentally different things. I sighed, attempting to banish the thoughts from my mind, but there's only so much to be done when you're stuck somewhere with nothing to do but think.

"Bella..."

The voice came from behind me – a voice I had been longing to hear; I turned, and I smiled.

_He could be that boy  
But I'm not that girl._

"Hey, Edward."

His smiled his familiar crooked grin at me, leaning up against the wall, "What are you doing here, then?"

I resisted the urge to blush and look down, surprised he even cared I was lurking in the corner, feeling completely out of my depth. I'd always hated dorm parties, especially when I lost my best friend in the first five minutes and the way back to my room was blocked by partying eighteen-year-olds.

"Nothing, really."

"Are you ok?" he moved closer, and my heart began to race – I gazed up at him, unable to help my smile from widening as it did whenever I looked at him for too long. I almost forgot where I was.

"Yeah," I said dreamily, "Yeah, I'm fine."

_Don't dream too far  
Don't lose sight of who you are  
Don't remember that rush of joy  
He could be that boy  
I'm not that girl_

"Did you lose Alice?"

My voice was light, airy. "Yeah..."

He chuckled, "You don't sound too upset about it."

I blushed, looking down at my feet as I commented shyly, "You're here: I'm not so lonely anymore." When he didn't answer, I thought I'd been too forward, and I quickly tried to make my escape, as I did whenever I said something that might let him know just how not lonely I was whenever he was around. "Anyway," I muttered, backing away, "I have to-"

"Bella." His hand was on my arm, stopping me, holding me still. I looked up, startled to find his face mere centimetres from mine, and I gasped lightly. Silence fell between us, until all I could hear was my pounding heart and his light breaths, but then, all of a sudden, in the heat or the moment or simply because he had drunk too much, to my complete and utter shock: he bent down, pulled me close, and kissed me.

I almost dropped to the floor in a dead faint, shock running deep in me; somehow I managed to catch him, my arms going around him, fingers clinching around his shirt at his shoulders. It was so sudden that I forgot to hold back, to be firm against my feelings for him – I forgot not to show him what he would so easily understand but never reciprocate.

That was, it seems, until then.

Eventually my head caught up with my heart, so when I found myself twisted around him, my fingers in his gorgeously soft hair and his warm mouth against mine, it was only natural that I should freeze in shock. I pulled my lips from his and found I could do nothing but stare at him in surprise, my feet hanging a foot off the ground. He stared right back at me, and after a silent minute in the darkness I began to twist away. "Edward..."

"Don't go," he whispered, his breath hot against my mouth, his voice ragged and short, not putting me down but instead holding me tighter, "Please, don't leave...Bella, I-"

"Edward!" Tanya.

He dropped me at the sound, letting go of me completely – my skin burned where he'd been touching me.

_Every so often we long to steal  
To the land of what-might-have-been  
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel  
When reality sets back in_

There was something terribly sad in his gaze as he looked down at me – I was locked in his eyes, unmoving though all the time wishing to touch him again, to banish that pain from his eyes. We stood there, inches away from each other, his forehead still against my own in my mind and the taste of his mouth still burning on my lips. I had never been this close to him, and yet I had no idea what to do. No idea what to say about what had just happened apart from stutters. And from the look in his face, he didn't either.

"Edward! Edward, where are you?" Tanya called again, her voice blurred and foggy, as if from far away – he flinched a little, the something between us beginning to break off at the edges. I desperately forced myself not to look away, trying to prolong the moment, not wanting him to leave.

Her voice grew closer, and it was obvious she would soon discover us...and he stepped away.

_Blithe smile, lithe limb  
She who's winsome, she wins him  
Gold hair with a gentle curl  
That's the girl he chose  
And Heaven knows  
I'm not that girl:_

"I am so sorry, Bella," he murmured, his voice rushed but his fingers suddenly warm at my cheeks, "I'll make this right, I promise."

Those words did not seem to stop him moving away.

Tanya draped herself around him as soon as he arrived – fitting, since she was his girlfriend. Beautiful, blonde...and generally perfectly nice. I had no reason to hate her apart from the fact that she had the guy I had been in love with since freshman year. "You love me, don't you, Edward?" she said, teasing – I could see his gaze on me, tucked away in the corner, watching them still even though I wished I could look away. When he didn't answer, still staring at me, she turned his cheek away, throwing a quizzical look at me before wrapping her arms around his neck, pushing closer to him. "You love me, right?" she asked again, her voice quiet, gazing imploringly up at him, and I saw his shoulders rise and fall.

"Yes, Tanya," came his low response, making my heart ache, "Yes, of course I do."

She smiled, took his hand, turning away from me to walk with him towards the door – he went with her, but he looked back. His green eyes caught mine as he slowly trailed behind, staring at me, the look on his face almost...unwilling.

_Don't wish, don't start  
Wishing only wounds the heart  
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl_

But then they turned the corner, and I slid down the wall, wrapping my arms around myself and hugging myself tightly, trying to alleviate the pain. Trying to soothe myself, because there was no one else to do it.

_There's a girl I know  
He loves her so  
I'm not that girl_


End file.
